Never understood the feeling of cowardice until I fell in love. And fear is not an option.
Hello, I saw this quote earlier: “Your task is not to seek for love, but merely to seek and find all the barriers within yourself that you have built against it.”― Rumi, and I wonder what advice you have on how I might go about putting those words into action. My current goal is to learn to love myself, or at least accept myself for me, and of course I would like to share my life with someone, but I know that I need to work on myself first and foremost. Any advice? Thank you. Namaste
Taking Rumi’s words into account, is the goal to love more and accept more and share more? Or is the intent to become aware of the ways in which you close yourself off and then bring those ways to an end?
The difference is important. If we feel like we need more love, then we are beginning from a place of poverty. We are beginning from a place with not enough love. Then not only are you waiting for a time in which there is enough love, but you also may never stop seeking more and more love.
Whereas starting from Rumi’s standpoint, the love is already there. All the love in the universe is already here. The problem is not “getting” at it or cultivating it but rather ceasing to shut it out.
When you open a window, the sunlight shines inside. You didn’t do anything to make the sun shine, you just opened the window.
Open yourself and you will find that love is already shining. It is shining even now, waiting for you.
However, that opening process is an interesting thing. Why did we close ourselves off in the first place? Many of us were very open and loving children. But due to life’s events, we may have given in to experience of shame, embarrassment, fear, awkwardness, disappointment, anxiety, repression, or any number of confusing phenomena. Then we shut down.
“Under the present brutal and primitive conditions on this planet, every person you meet should be regarded as one of the walking wounded. We have never seen a man or woman not slightly deranged by either anxiety or grief. We have never seen a totally sane human being.” ~ Robert Anton Wilson
Coming to terms with our wounds is a major part of opening up. Exposing ourselves to those moments in which we feel vulnerable, weakened, confused, powerless, stuck, afraid, and lost, are opportunities to find peace with those experiences. They aren’t overcome or defeated or transformed. You just stop trembling and becoming undone by their presence. You cease to shut down.
Our experiences mean much less than the way we meet those experiences. Learning to meet every experience with openness, love, acceptance, patience, and peace is the meaning of Compassion.
Love is not a subject-object relationship. If you love yourself, then you are objectifying yourself and then loving that object. If you love a person, you are loving them as an object, regardless of whether you regard that object as a body, a mind, or even a presence.
Love in its natural form is often referred to as Unconditional Love. In other words, it simply radiates. Just like the sun shines without thought as to where its light goes or who it might touch and benefit, so too does the natural love radiating within us simply shine without conditions.
A book I would highly recommend, which will give you a lot to work with in terms of opening up, is The Places That Scare You by Pema Chodron.
Namaste! Much love.